Something is wrong. Something is wrong with the current state of the Christian community that I live in. I’m so outraged. I don’t understand why there are single women here and so many men apparently uninterested in pursuing them. Let’s make it more personal….I don’t understand why I am still single. Furthermore I don’t understand why the only men who have taken an interest in me are neither from this community nor Christ lovers as far as I know. What the hell?

Literally, what hell has invaded this community to leave longing hearts in some sort of loneliness purgatory? I refuse to believe that we are supposed to be sitting around waiting to be picked for the proverbial kickball game, hoping that someone will pick us, never sure if we will actually get a chance to participate. That is crap. Now perhaps we will continue with the kickball game idea. It’s certainly not boys against girls. Somewhere along the skewed lines of “how Christian relationships are supposed to work” I feel like there are sides. The frustrated women, apparently waiting for the men to show up and the seemingly equally frustrated men who don’t seem to recognize that they are a part of the solution.

So here we sit on the merry-go-round which at this point is neither merry nor moving, and we are pointing fingers at each other. The women saying “just pick someone” the men saying “just wait for someone to pick you” neither statement which actually addresses the fact that no one is actually moving. Less talk, more rock people.

Women, it’s okay for you to keep moving. Men, the fact that the women are moving shouldn’t paralyze you, but rather should encourage you to move. To move DIFFERENTLY than they are moving. How are you to gain courage when surrounded by courageous women? Move. You can move MORE than the women. You were designed to move ahead of the women. You were created first ON PURPOSE. LET the women encourage you.

And yes, I am specifically talking about dating and relationships and marriage. Am I dating, in a relationship or married? Sure aren’t, hence the blog poking and probing in hopes of hitting a nerve somewhere in my generation.

Personally I think everyone needs to chill out, go on a date, and someday get laid. Here are some ideas I have to potentially make those things a reality in your world:

Men:

1. Ask women out….like on a real date. It is actually okay to go on a date for the sake of going out on a date. It’s not a marriage proposal.

2. Give yourself the freedom to look at your “sisters in Christ” as more than that. Yep, just like any other chick you check out in the grocery store. We are not actually related you know.

3. Take the risk. Yep, you might ask a girl out and it ends up sucking. Maybe even putting you both in a temporarily socially awkward scenario, but what if it goes awesome instead? One way to never find out is to never ask. Don’t let your fear of failure conquer you.

Women:

1. When the aforementioned man asks you on a date, realize that’s all it is: a date, not a marriage proposal.

2. Be present. Don’t skip ahead to the wonderland of fantastical relationships in your head. As much as is womanly possible stick with what is in front of you, one day at a time. If homeslice is interested in date #2 or 3 or 7, he’ll let you know. And if he’s not, he’ll let you know (nudge, nudge, wink, wink men).

3. Let the man be THE MAN. You were designed to encourage a man into his destiny. Let him walk it out and you cheer him on. The more strides he takes, the more you cheer. It’s like clockwork….in a strangely complicated clock…..